A novice monk asks his master out of his curiosity:
- Novice Monk: Master, if someone has already found their partner, but then meets another person they feel strongly for, how should they choose?
- Master: Ah, my young disciple, your question comes from a place of confusion, but also from a very human place. You see, liking someone is often just a momentary indulgence, a spark of excitement. It’s like the flash of a flame—it catches your attention, it burns bright for a moment. But true love… true love is a lifelong commitment. It’s a steady flame that endures.
- Novice Monk: But Master, when the initial excitement fades, how do we know if it’s real love?
- Master: That is the true test, my student. True love is not bound to the thrill of newness. It is about the ability to accept one another’s flaws, to grow together, even after the excitement fades. Only those who can still see you with the same warmth and appreciation, despite your imperfections, are worthy of your heart. It is the steady, quiet presence that outlasts the initial spark.
- Novice Monk: But… When there are no more words left to say, how can we continue?
- Master: When the excitement starts to fade, it may be that real love is beginning to emerge. You see, the initial thrill may be intense, but it is fleeting. The question is whether you will choose to walk away to chase that excitement elsewhere, or whether you will stay and nurture the bond that has grown deeper with time. The price of chasing that initial thrill is getting trapped in an endless cycle—one where feelings are temporary, and connections are shallow.
- Novice Monk: So, it’s not about the excitement?
- Master: No, it’s not. A good, lasting relationship is not about chasing the excitement of new feelings with different people. It’s about finding that same sense of wonder, that same depth of connection, over and over again with the same person. The commitment is not in the feeling itself, but in the willingness to keep discovering each other, even when things are not as they once were.
- Novice Monk: I think I understand now. Real love isn’t about searching for the thrill. It’s about the steady, quiet connection that deepens with time.
- Master: Yes, you are learning well, my student. Remember, the essence of love lies not in the beginning, but in what you build together, day after day, with patience, understanding, and commitment.
In the delicate balance between love and desire, we often find ourselves at a crossroads—torn between the comfort of the familiar and the allure of the new. It is in these moments of doubt that the true nature of our relationships is revealed. What does it mean to love someone? Is it the excitement of fresh feelings or the steady acceptance of imperfections? The short conversation above delves into the complexities of love, the temptation of fleeting emotions, and the wisdom of choosing to build something lasting. It explores the reality that true love isn’t about chasing new experiences with different people but finding those same sparks with the person who’s always been by your side.
In the end, love is not defined by the intensity of fleeting moments but by the depth of understanding and commitment that endures beyond them. The thrill of newness will always fade, but real love grows through challenges, imperfections, and shared experiences. It is about rediscovering each other in new ways, time and again, and building a bond that withstands the passage of time. Choosing love is not about avoiding temptation; it’s about recognizing that the most profound connection is often the one you’ve been nurturing all along. True happiness lies in finding the magic within the familiar, rather than endlessly searching for it in the unknown.
“True Love is born from understanding. Embrace love, you will find true happiness. Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have” – Buddha said.
True love and commitment are often seen as intertwined, but they are distinct aspects of a relationship that complement each other.
True Love is a deep emotional connection that goes beyond surface-level attraction. It is characterized by mutual respect, understanding, and a genuine care for the other person’s well-being. True love accepts imperfections and finds beauty in them. It grows over time, evolving as both people do, and is often associated with feelings of joy, compassion, and emotional depth.
Commitment, on the other hand, is a conscious decision to stay loyal and dedicated to someone. It’s not just about emotion—it’s about making the choice to stand by your partner through life’s challenges, even when things get difficult. Commitment requires effort, patience, and a shared sense of responsibility toward the relationship’s growth and stability.
While true love brings passion and connection, commitment is what strengthens the bond and sustains the relationship over time. Together, they form the foundation of a lasting partnership. True love can inspire commitment, and commitment can help preserve and nurture that love through life’s inevitable ups and downs.
I wish for each of you to find your true love and be at peace with the choices you make along the way.
